denise korn.

this morning, at starbucks, i sat at a table with denise korn. well, her face was on the cover of the Style & Arts section of the Globe but i felt like she was sitting at the table with me. i am taking this as a sign from a greater being. i am destined to meet her, work for her, be her. she does exactly what i want to do. she has the exact life that i want.

this morning, at starbucks, my future goals were validated. i feel this weird energy pumping through my heart. an energy of hopeful ambition.

thank you to who ever accidentally left yesterdays globe at the little table in the corner of the starbucks on brookline ave under the trilogy. you rock!

sun blankets.

in 11 days. sunsets & sunrises. a tropical island. good friends & good times. i will miss boston, but i will love the dominican. this freezing rain will be easy to leave though. i cant wait to lay on the beach and have a blanket of sun cover me, i will lay under that blanket for hours. we will come back to longer days, shorter nights and only a few weeks left of our second year of college. we will be half way to the real world. everyone told me college would go by quickly, and even with the full awareness there seems to be nothing i can do to slow the speed. it seems someone has pushed the fast forward button, and then the button got stuck and no matter how much we all try to unstick that button it is stuck for good.

empty picture frames.

the picture frames are all empty. in fact, the last picture was very recently taken out of its frame. i am not sure if i want to - or am ready to- put these pictures back in, i dont even know if i want to save them. im not sure if i want to take new pictures and totally forget about the old ones. im not sure if i just want to take pictures with someone else.

maybe i should take pictures by myself for a while.

the problem with taking pictures by myself is that i always feel funny smiling in a picture alone. what do i have to be smiling about? isnt a forced smile just a lie? can other people tell when im forcing a smile? do i force a smile so much that even i cant tell when its forced?

regardless, these empty picture frames are breaking my heart. they need to be filled with something.